After news of his alleged brain worm went viral, third-party presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy Jr. is back with a startling rejoiner: that he could out-debate the election's frontrunners even if he ate five more.
"I offer to eat five more brain worms and still beat President [Donad] Trump and President [Joe] Biden in a debate," the son of the late Robert "Bobby" Kennedy posted on X-formerly-Twitter. "I feel confident of the result even with a six-worm handicap."
Earlier in the week, the New York Times dropped a bombshell report about Kennedy's health struggles a decade or so back, in which he claims a doctor believed some cognitive issues he was having at the time were the result of an unknown parasite that had taken up residence in his cranium, eaten part of his brain, and subsequently died.
In a 2012 deposition during his divorce from his second wife, the political scion also alleged that he'd been diagnosed with mercury poisoning after a diet heavy in tuna and perch resulted in him having 10 times more mercury in his blood than the Environmental Protection Agency says is safe.
"I have cognitive problems, clearly," Kennedy said in the 2012 divorce deposition, which involved him arguing that his earning potential had been impacted by his strange brain issues and that he should therefore pay less alimony to his second wife, Mary Richardson Kennedy. "I have short-term memory loss, and I have longer-term memory loss that affects me."
As one parasite expert who spoke to the New York Times for the piece pointed out, there's a greater chance that the mercury poisoning, which is known to cause neurological problems, led to the conspiracist candidate's cognitive impairment than a brain worm.
According to the University of Nebraska-Lincoln parasitologist Scott Gardner, tapeworms or other invasive parasites end up being calcified in the brain, resulting in them turning, essentially, into a tumor.
Given that Kennedy claims the issue went away after he stopped eating so much fish and underwent chelation therapy, which expels heavy metals like arsenic and mercury from the body, Occam's razor tells us that the most likely answer here is the simplest: that mercury poisoning, and not a brain worm, was what caused his cognitive problems.
Nevertheless, the candidate still seems to believe that he has had a dead parasite hanging out in his brain for at least the past 14 years — and is, jokingly at least, willing to entertain the possibility of ingesting more to prove a point.
Not long after Kennedy was deposed in his second divorce, an Iowa woman bought a tapeworm online and ate it in a disturbed effort to lose weight, prompting not only urgent warnings from doctors but several copycats who wanted to see if the "tapeworm diet" could work for them too.
It should go without saying that purposefully ingesting a parasite is extremely risky, not to mention often illegal. Hopefully, Kennedy is just capitalizing on the viral publicity from the NYT's reporting, because otherwise, this election season's about to get even more deranged.
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